Mental declutter…
The process of letting go is a daunting one. Especially because it is a conscious choice we have to make. It places us in a gruesome battle between our Id which wants us to let go, to heal and grow. And our ego, which seduces us to hold on to the pain and sorrow.
In this state we internalize a lot and take most things personally because we are already hurting. We see the world and everyone in it as out to get us when this may not be the case. This way, we are able to shelter ourselves and remain victims. Constantly finding reasons to be angry at the world.
So letting go is a form of responsibility.
it is when we stop blaming everything around us and begin catering to that triggered, inner child. we begin comforting and coaching self to rid of thought processes that no longer serve us.
——We are the world, so if we want to change the world, we must begin by changing ourselves.
The idea of letting go is new for me.
My way of coping with traumatic past experiences was by burying them deep in my memory- “forgetting”. But no matter how much my mind aimed to suppress the pain, it found ways of manifesting in my exterior reality. Deep down I felt I was not okay, that I was hurting. I would find myself getting triggered by the smallest things and constantly falling into episodes of anxiety and depression because I was carrying this premium bundle of pain waiting to be shipped out of my life.
———-The weight was keeping me down, low….
How do you forgive?
This is the hardest part. It is, of course easier to forgive when someone is down on their knees, crying, begging and pleading. When they have taken responsibility and found ways to make it up to you. That way the ego is fed.
its different without an apology. when the people who hurt us the most have not taken accountability.
The key here is to do it for yourself. when someone apologizes and you forgive them, they feel a sense of fulfillment. like a weight of guilt has been relieved from their shoulders.
So why can’t we relieve ourselves the same way we relieve others?
—-letting go is a form of self love.
We often feel the urge to tell ourselves that if it had not been for a person or experience, we would have been better off mentally/spiritually/physically, and so on.
—-but how are we guaranteed this?
i was laying on the rooftop of my home in Gambia with a friend. another evening in january, still on vacation and enjoying my escape from the real world. it was a warm night, i could smell freshness, from the bracing sandy breeze coming in from the beach nearby. his warm shoulder pressed into mine. the sky was full as we laid and gazed. he explained a metaphor:
“imagine you were standing less than an inch away from an elephant. from that perspective, you would not realize what you are looking at. but once you take several steps away, the vision becomes clearer, you see this subject as a whole, and for what it is…an elephant..now imagine the elephant is your life and that small portion you were staring at is a phase or piece of your life. its all apart of the bigger picture.”
Everything happens for a reason. Every experience is meant to teach us some things we may have not learned otherwise, and benefited from.
The lesson:
Your subconscious does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. so when we hold on to bitterness and recall negative events, we are re-living these experiences and damaging ourselves over and over again. deeply.
instead of dwelling on negative experiences, i now try to Focus on the positive aspects I gained from it. there is always a positive gain. a way it fits into the bigger story.
It takes time.
Yes, letting go does not happen overnight. like everything else, it takes time. we may get triggered here and there during the process, but the most important thing is knowing that we are consciously taking control of how we frame the situation and how it affects us.
it's like eating fruit—recognize it for what it is, throw away the pieces you don’t need (the peel) and eat the part you need (the fruit).
“from the trauma, Gather what serves you, let go of the rest”.
why get accustomed to mental chaos when i can chose peace?
thanks so much for stopping by! i would love to hear your thoughts! flourish and multiply forevernever.